Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Writing those... blush... sex scenes!

I have always been fascinated with romance. Even Valentines Day beats any other holiday in my opinion. I have always been like this, too. So much that I started my first actual romance novel while I was in junior high... way before I even experienced my first love! I remember watching my first romance movie at about 8 or 9 years old. I don't remember the name of the movie but remember a very awesome scene. I can even hear the song they played.

People are often surprised when they find out what I write. This is a typical scenario of someone finding out:

" You're a writer?"
I smile but am a bit embarrassed as I say yes.
The person gives me a all-knowing smile and announces, "Children's books, right?"
I giggle because everyone assumes this since I work with children as my day job. I say, "Nope. I write romance."
"Romance? As in that smutty-sex stuff?" Wide, amazed eyes are staring at me. Who'd believe that I could or would write like that?
"Well, my novels are romanced based. You know, about love." I explain. I don't really want to get into the difference between erotica and romance... even though I don't think erotica is smut, either.
The all-knowing eyes stare at me again. "Ah, you leave out the sex!"
Wrong again!

I do write about sex depending on the book. When it's a scene or character that really needs the graphic sex then I have no problems at all writing it. I don't think a mafia hitman and his very sexy girlfriend (also involved with the mob) would shut the bedroom door when it came time for them to get it on like in Dangerous Flames. In Confessions, Chelsea is a more private person so the scene is sensual but not as graphic.

Writing the scenes are hard sometimes. I find that when I'm in a bad mood or too tired, I don't want to write them. I have to be in a certain frame of mind to get them good. It's like when your husband or boyfriend wants some and you're not in the mood. You have two choices: turn him down or just do it anyway, right? Those are my options when writing such a scene. If I wait until I'm in that mood then I'm stuck at that part until the mood strikes. I don't like being stuck. I do a quicky at first and then go back when I am in the the mood to do it so good, it knocks the character's socks off!

If you're a writer, my question is: How do you manage the sex scenes?
If you're a reader, how do you prefer the sex scenes to be?

Talk to you soon...

Wendy Ely


Nicole North said...

Awesome post, Wendy!! Like you, I have to be in the right frame of mind to write sex scenes. I edit a few times before I consider them presentable. :)

Paisley Kirkpatrick said...

I actually like the internal thoughts during the sex scenes rather than physical descriptions. It seems more meaningful that way to me.

Lisa Lane said...

"I have to be a certain frame of mind to get them good. It's like when your husband or boyfriend wants some and you're not in the mood. You have two choices: turn him down or just do it anyway, right? Those are my options when writing such a scene."

I couldn't have said it better. When I'm not in the "mood" but I find myself at a necessary sex scene, I'll usually write the scene anyway, leaving only the framework of the scene, and then make a note to go back over it later.

I think sex scenes should be as unique and hot as the author can make them. We go all out when it comes to other details in our characters' lives; I think it's worth the added effort in a romance or erotica to make the sex as spicy as possible. ;-)

Debra Kayn said...

I agree with everyone else. To write sex scenes you have to be in the mood to grasp if what you are writing is the right "feel." I don't know how many times I have been typing away, I come to a sex scene and I write SEX SCENE and skip it. I'll go back later and fill that part in, lol.

Mark Alders said...

Sex scenes are essential I think :-)

But that's me *giggle*



Sierra Wolfe said...

I couldn't agree with you more Wendy. Mood is everything. If I'm not in the mood for it, I don't want to write it, or read it. But, reading is usually not a problem if the author has carried me along in the story.

If I'm not in the mood, I won't write it. I'll skip it and come back to it later. I really hate skipping parts, though, because it makes it awkward for me to go backward. I'm one of those linear writers and I hate vearing off the course.

My biggest problem in writing sex scenes is making sure they're not all the same. I sometimes get in a rut and it's the same old thing over and over again.

Dana Fredsti said...

I'm in the 'skip till I'm in the mood and then write it' camp on this one.

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