I've been feeling really lonely for about two weeks. Most of you don't know (and now will!) that I didn't have a home phone or Internet at home due to the fact that I had to save some money. My friends couldn't call me until after 7pm when my cell minutes were free. I also had two good friends move from my apartment complex. I had seen these two people every day for a long time. We'd chat in passing and often would hang out together. My father also has been trying to reestablish a relationship with me and the kids which is awesome but he lives in Washington while I'm in Arizona. Add to all of the above, my boyfriend moved two hours away for a job and we haven't seen each other for almost a month. I just have been feeling so disconnected from the world and it has sucked.
My daughter asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told her things I would like but thought how much I just wanted the loneliness to go away. That night I wished for the feeling of isolation to disappear. I woke up the next morning and felt the same but that night something amazing happened.
During the night I woke up but kept my eyes shut. I felt a presence with me. The presence made me feel so comforted and loved. I was sure one of the kids had snuck in my room while I had been sleeping. I checked my bed even though I knew neither had climbed into my bed and then checked the floor. To my surprise, there wasn't a kid sleeping on my floor either. The comforting presence hadn't left even though I had wakened. I fell back to sleep again. The next morning I woke with the loneliness gone.
I consider myself more of a spiritual person than religious. It could've been God visiting me. Could it have been a loved one who has passed on such as my grandma? I don't rule that out either. It could've even been my boyfriend who lives far from me and thinking of me during the night.... sending me his love. No matter which way I look at it, I know it was someone who came when I needed them.
Talk to you soon,