When opposites attract, they are screwed three ways from Sunday.
Frannie learned the hard way that a McHottie doesn’t always equal marriage material. Besides, she’s happy with her vanilla life. She has friends, a career and a double-D-powered vibrator. Then Fate shoves her, literally, into Prince Charming’s lap. His declaration of love at first sight is cute—and spikes her bullcrap meter into the red zone.
She’s more than willing to give in with her body. But she’s barricaded her heart behind castle walls—and permanently welded the gates shut.
Tragedy taught Jinx that time is too precious to waste, so when a series of uncanny coincidences thrusts Frannie into his life, he holds on tight. He knows she thinks he’s several fries short of a Happy Meal, but he’s determined to breach the fortress around her heart and give her a Happily Ever After.
Even if he has to carry her fanny-first into his kingdom.
WARNING: Includes jelly shoes, a narcoleptic cat, and meatloaf. The steamy sex scenes may lead to fogged windows and wet panties, so proceed at your own risk. Do not attempt to read without the following items: tissues, napkins for spewed beverages, and a booty call on speed dial.
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“I’m not so sure about Christmas with your family.” Grabbing the damp towel from him, she avoided his eyes but felt him shift on the bed, become more alert and defensive.
“What do you mean?”
“It’s just I feel weird intruding. Besides, with Tracey’s mom overseas and Steve’s sister so close to having her baby, we thought about doing brunch here, just the three of us.” Guiltily, she headed toward the bathroom, distancing herself from him. She barely had time to plug in the hair dryer before he was standing inside the doorway.
“You said you’d come. Everyone’s looking forward to meeting you.”
“Jinx, Christmas is for families. You should go and be with yours. I don’t want to impose.” I don’t want to meet your family. I don’t want to see what I can’t have and pretend it’s all okay.
“Frannie, I want you there. You promised.”
“That’s not fair, I accepted in a weak moment. You shouldn’t ask questions like that right after mind-blowing sex, it scrambles the brain. Really, just go and have fun. I’ll see you the day after or so.”
His eyebrows popped up and he stared at her. “You thought it was mind-blowing? Brain-scrambling?”
His self-satisfied purely masculine grin perturbed her. Good lawd, like he needed the ego boost. “It worked. It had been a while. Let’s just say it was better than battery-operated and leave it alone, okay?”
“Better than batteries?”
“Yes, okay. Better than batteries but not quite as good as a half-price shoe sale, alright?”
“Ouch, Frannie, aim a little lower next time, you almost missed my balls completely with that one.”
“Trust me, Fruit-loop, if I wanted to bust your balls, I would have.”
That wiped the smug look from his face and his brows scrunched. “Okay, forget my balls. Back to Christmas. You’re coming to my place and meeting my family.”
Frannie snorted. “Uhm, let go of that bossy vine Tarzan, this Jane don’t swing that way. I said I’m not going.”
The sudden roar of the hair dryer meant an end to the discussion. He was supposed to accept her decision and go back to the bedroom. He was not supposed to get irritated, cross his arms and cock that damned left eyebrow at her. The screeching drone of the ancient appliance had been known to drown out smoke alarms, children crying and the occasional drunken neighbor. She should have known it wouldn’t work on Jinx.
“Mtttkichouuuuu.” In the mirror, she watched his mouth move but only heard a garbled string of nonsense. Perfect.
“I can’t hear you.” Blatantly ignoring him, she flipped her head over and switched the hair dryer on high. “You’re going to have to wait until I’m done.” And then I’m going to jump your bones and make you forget about my ducking out on your family.
Pleased with her game plan, she shuffled the hot air over her scalp. The fine wisps danced like Bambi on ice, flying this way and that. From this vantage point, she could see the faded denim of his crotch and legs. He leaned with one hip on the doorframe, unmoving. Inspired, she turned her back to the door, bent at the waist. He should have a clear view of her bare ass this way. That should get his mind on other things.
The hair dryer died. Still bent over, Frannie shook it then flipped the switches. Nothing. Swiping her hair back, she stood and froze at the reflection in the mirror. Jinx had not moved. Except now he held the hair dryer plug in his hands, twirling it absently.
“You said you would come, I told my parents they would meet you and you’re coming. End of discussion.”
Irritation swelled and she spun around to face him. Hair dryer pointed like a gun, she poked him in the chest. “What in the hell are you doing? That was rude!”
“Rude is backing out on a promise. You’re going and that’s it.”
“I don’t want to go, okay? I don’t want to meet your family and get all cozy, like Little House on the freaking Prairie.”
“I carried you once and I’ll do it again.”
Stubborn crashed in to obstinate and they glared at each other. Her eyebrows tightened and his scrunched. Her lips pursed and his flattened. Her shoulders squared and his straightened. Light brown eyes bored into black ones and black ones bored back. He was not giving up. Thrusting the small machine into his chest, she complained.
“And you’re headstrong.”
“You’re being a pain in the ass.”
A devilish grin erupted on his face. He looked down at the still warm nozzle pressed against his chest and then back at her.
“So what are you going to do, blow me?”
“You wish.” She jabbed the hair dryer into his chest once more. “Fine, I’ll go. But do not expect me to be pleasant.”
“Never. I expect you to be yourself.”
**PLEASE NOTE: The above excerpt is an unedited version**
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