SEX! SEX! SEX!

Have I gotten your attention yet?

Let’s talk sex. Yes, I said the forbidden word "sex"! Yeah, I know, touchy, almost taboo subject in some realms of society. *mega sigh* So, go ahead and get the cringing over. I’ll wait. I don’t mind…

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Okay, is everyone finished? Good. So, let’s talk S-E-X. To me, it’s a natural, beautiful act and I personally do not understand why it is such a hush, hush topic. My mother reared me to be open and honest about it, but upon becoming an adult she doesn’t want to talk about it—ever—and would rather pretend it doesn’t exist. She doesn’t want to discuss it in passing, not in jest, and certainly not seriously. This attitude from a woman who embraced the 60s? I am seriously flummoxed and have no clue what happened. But her attitude is similar to many attitudes I find here in the South. I love the South, but at times we’re rather prudish.

So, I ponder the question “why?” Is it because we still don’t understand what we’re doing when we have sex? Do we still feel uncomfortable having sex? Is it just another marital chore that I hear so many women talk about?

Well, for me, it’s none of those things, neither in real life nor when writing sex scenes. I believe in having a healthy sex life in my marriage and as a couple we have fun keeping the marital bed fresh. Writing sex scenes comes naturally also. When writing sex, the author should show more than just the mechanics of sex or that's my opinion anyway. I want the scene to be steamy and brazen and hot, and that's how I try to write my sex scenes as well. I write sex scenes hoping that the reader is feeling the moment, living through each touch and caress, each kiss, each sigh and whimper. I hope the reader is in the moment as if they themselves are the characters. I want them hot and bothered after reading one of my scenes, and if they're ripping their spouse's shirt off and living out the fantasy of the written word....WOOHOO!!! JACKPOT!!! If they’re not…well, then I failed miserably. But, I also want the moment to be more than just about the sex. There needs to be a deeper connection between my characters when they're finally exploring one another.

I’m not one of those folks that skim through or skip the sex scenes in a book. I have no problem with anyone that does that, but I want the sex in a romance. Sex is important in our own lives with our other halves, so to me it’s important in a romance novel as well. I just don’t want it on every page. There’s got to be storyline, preferably a riveting storyline. ;-)

My apologies for posting late. With the holidays and all that is going on, it skipped my mind. I hope everyone has an awesome weekend and a very Happy Thanksgiving (if you celebrated). Stay safe.