Sunday, September 20, 2009

Renewing Spirituality

Before you go running and screaming from the room thinking I've called a Sunday Come to Jesus Meeting, fear not...I have no intention of raising my fist to the congragation and calling down hellfire and brimstone on anyone. What I'm talking about is how I've neglected my spiritual side for the 7 or 8 years.

Yeah, I know. It's very sad.

However, this past week something happened to me that made me realize that pushing that part of your soul away to the distant corner of your life because you "just don't have the time" isn't always a good thing when you have a creative personality.

It's not a secret and I make no bones about the fact I am a practicing witch. (Well, I guess not so much practicing lately if you read the above paragraph!) For me, I never cared what name something was given, it's the intent of the prayer or positive energy raised during a working that is the main thing. The reason I was drawn to the craft was that I could practice in my own home, in my own time and be at one with the Creator without the middle man. It just so worked for me. I'm not so much a fan of organized religion, I'm more a fan of disorganized ones. That's not to say I'm not spiritual, or don't believe in the teachings of Christ or Buddha. On the contrary, I believe in them all. I'm very much an equal opportunity believer. I wear my pentagram on a chain with a Celtic Cross. I have the symbol for Ohm in my truck. I think there is power in all religious symbols and I leave nothing to chance. As Fox Mulder said, "The truth is out there."

But my point is, that no matter what you believe, sometimes life just gets in the way. And with "disorganized" religion - like the solitary practioner Wiccan- it's very easy to get busy with a project, or into the groove of a busy work schedule and cut that out of your life. The "Oh, I just don't feel like it tonight," is an excuse easy to fall back on. As I did many Sundays while still going to church, back in the day.

But I digress. So, I had this thing happen to me that made me really freak out. It was an illogical fear over something that nearly made my heart stop. I decided the best way to combat the negitive energy I believed someone unleashed on me was to do a ritual and banishing of said negitivity. (If you know anything about witchcraft, you know we are all about the positive and ethics are extremely strong. Words have power and you say nothing that could do harm or call negitive energies down on another which is what I felt someone had done to me.) I needed to just cancel it out and move it away from my life - something I hadn't done in a very, very long time.

Here's where it gets rather embarrassing.

So, I'm going through my filing cabinets, trying to find my wand, candles and all the other paraphenalia of a working. I found charms and altar figurines I forgot I owned. I no longer had a broom. Damn! Had to call my hubby at work and ask him to pick me up one fit for a magic circle. Oh, and can you get me two red candles, a silver, gold, yellow, blue, and green? My chalice is on a high shelf covered in cobwebs and kitchen grease. Gross! So, I made due with a jelly jar shaped like a chalice that we use for a juice glass. I pulled out my Book of Shadows and ...Gee, where's North in this house? Needless to say, I probably should have spent more prep time before the day before.

With my materials collected, I cleansed body and mind with a scented oil bath, some Tibitian chants, incense and candles. I hadn't meditated in years either. I was a bit rusty...but then something wonderous happened. I found my center. This amazing and uplifting energy began to stir within. Where I had been dreading the prep stage of the practice, I suddenly couldn't wait to get started. I listened to the prayers of Hildegard von Bingen set to music. It's a lovely CD of very spritual music from Vision Records - (I think they're the same company who put out the Gregorian Chants.) As I'm meditating, I have a very clear vision come to me of my problem and me crossing out the negitivity with sword strikes. Immediately I felt lighter, untroubled. I went on to do my ritual and banish the negitive energy as I'd been taught, but I think I did most of the hard work during meditation. For the rest of the evening and even today...three days later, I feel so much better than I did a week ago.

My heart is lighter. The world is...I don't know...shinier? And I feel like the veil that had come down on my writing has lifted a little. The creative energies are flowing quite well now.

So, don't be like me...don't wait years to indulge your spiritual side. No matter what you believe, or what path you choose to walk, be sure to walk it if only to get your mind right. If your idea of religion is sitting in a dark room and staring at a cactus, do it! If you believe in nothing... then find something that makes you feel light and do that. But do something, you might be as surprised at the results as was I.



Oh, and wish me good travel as I drive to Atlantic City this week for a conference. I hate driving alone that far.


Mark Alders said...

Drive careful, mate and happy travels. Great post, too.



Sierra Wolfe said...

OMG, have you been reading my mind? I've been feeling very neglectful of my spiritual side lately, too. It's so odd that you blog about it today.

Congrats on your lighter/brighter energy! I'm glad you're feeling better. Have a safe and happy trip to Atlantic City.


Gracen Miller said...

Hope you have a safe and awesome trip to Atlantic City, Kate! I'll keep you in my prayers this week!

Like, Sierra, I've been struggling with myself lately. The last time I went to church, I really didn't want to get up and go, but my husband practically shoved me out of the bed and made me go. I was very irritated at him over it. Like you, I'm not big on organized religion, but my husband loves it, so I humor him and attend with him. But, imagine my surprise when I was glad I ended up going because I found inspiration for my current WIP in the lesson!

My husband said that wasn't the point of the lesson--me getting inspiration for my story--but, I really felt that it was a higher power's guidance. Since attending, I've felt freer, more at peace because I'd been struggling with my storyline. Now, I have a new purpose and a direction I hadn't known before. I don't believe in coincidence either, so it wasn't coincidental that I was there that morning.

Now, that that story made no sense, let me just say, this was a great blog! I enjoyed and connected with it!


Tierney O'Malley said...

Kate, happy trip and be careful.



Alisha Paige said...

Have a safe trip! Fascinating blog!

Big hug,

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